“And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day …. Then he said, ‘Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.'” – Genesis 32:24,28 (ESV)

Hand to Hand

The account of Genesis 32 is unique in the Old Testament, but it is readily recognized by many in their own spiritual journey. God confronts Jacob in a time of his vulnerability. Jacob has left Laban, who thought Jacob had cheated him. He is heading home towards his brother Esau, who knows Jacob swindled him. Jacob can’t stay where he was and is frightened to move forward. God meets him in this paralyzed space and wrestles with him through the night.

This hand-to-hand contest was not a test of physical strength. God could win at any moment and did so with a touch that crippled Jacob’s hip. Unable to stand, Jacob clung to God and asked for His blessing. Now, when Jacob was powerless and pleading, God blessed him with a new name, signifying a new man and a new life. Jacob was changed into Israel and walked with a limp as a reminder for the rest of his days.

It’s difficult to determine precisely Jacob’s age at this point, but he was not a youth. He had spent years in Isaac’s house before he lied and conned his brother Esau. He had worked 20 years for Laban before choosing to return home. It is highly likely that Jacob had already passed our marker of mid-life, late 40’s or early 50’s.  His age is less important than the inner transition he experienced. He moved from self-reliance and navigating life by his wits, to a man who built an altar of worship and called it “El-Elohe-Israel” – “God – the God of Israel.” It’s the first time Jacob calls God his own (Gen.33:20).

This series of articles is built upon the premise that transitions of life are common to us all. They are not simply physical changes but opportunities for spiritual growth. They are not automatic. Rather, they are invitations of the Spirit to lead us beyond where we are and may want to stay. The timing of these transitions is often mid-life, a threshold between the near and far side of 50. The past articles noted the movements;

1. from an identity of being to an identity of doing
2. from certainty to mystery by the exercise of faith
3. from our independence to dependence upon others

The story of Jacob’s fight points to another transformation. Our spiritual growth morphs from a focus on wrestling with sins to wrestling with God.

 

Not Just Moral Management

For most of us, the early steps of soul growth are naming, confessing and repenting of specific sins. We learn the commands of God and confront our anger, greed, lust, thoughts, fears, ego and self-centeredness. We become attuned to our personal vulnerabilities and develop strategies for avoidance, defence and victory. All of this is necessary and part of our maturing in righteousness. This sentry of our souls is lifelong. By the grace of God, we experience progress. At times we may lose our temper, but anger no longer controls us. All of this is to be applauded, but we can be mistaken. We may conclude that spiritual maturity is marked solely by our sin management. We may assume that if we aim at righteousness, then we will be what God intends. But the intent of God for us all is not simply moral adjustments. God wants us to know Him (Jn.17:3). While it is not possible to know Him apart from godliness, godliness is not the final goal. Knowing Him is. Knowing God requires understanding His nature and ways, celebrating that they are such and then loving Him as He is. Knowing God deeply will not happen without a battle.

 

Wrestling With God

Growing in Christ is not simply wrestling with sins. The greater challenge comes as we begin to wrestle with God Himself. God is hard to understand and know (Isa.55:8-9). He is beyond us. His holiness will confound you. His grace will shock you. His silences will confuse you. God will not always conform to your expectations. He will surprise you in ways that are less than pleasant. He will compel our submission to the order of creation. He is the center of creation, not us. None of this is easily embraced by us, but it is necessary.

If Jacob is going to be the father of a nation, he will have to abandon his own resourcefulness and lean upon the ways of God. He surrendered and now limped along God’s path. Jacob was not the only one to see God clearer after a confrontation. Abraham pushed Ishmael before God by his own agenda and by his own means (Gen.17:18). He had to embrace God’s purpose, despite the years of anguished delay. Moses had to swallow the personal disappointment of God’s command. After 40 years, God would not allow him to enter the promised land. Moses had to bend to God’s unbending holiness (Deut.32:51-52). David was so shocked by God striking Uzziah down for touching the ark, that he hid the ark away. David was afraid to have God so close (1 Sam.6:9). The Scriptures are filled with occasions when saints learned about God through their struggles. The disciples learn that God’s Kingdom doesn’t conform to their nationalistic expectations. The early Jewish church discovers that God is welcoming Gentiles through faith. The apostle Paul asked God several times about a thorn in his flesh. God said “No,” and Paul acquiesced to a grace greater than relief.

 

Know This

The pattern is clear. Maturity extends through our battles with sin and leads us into a confrontation with God. The central issues of soul become less about personal godliness and more about yielding to God as He is. It’s not surprising that these matters arise after decades of living and learning.  It takes a measure of life experience to move from a head knowledge about God to personally engaging the Hand of God. It takes a lifetime for the questions of a lifetime to arise. In our youth we deal with the mechanics of our spiritual walk, trying to answer “What? and How?” It is in the later season that we seek meaning and ask the harder question, “Why?” We understand the meaning of our lives only when we surrender to the Word and ways of God. We all will wrestle with God. It is a requirement for growth. Some hints as you enter the ring with God:

The initiative is God’s. You don’t have to pick a fight with Him. He will find you. He alone knows the season and issues of our struggle. He will accost us for our spiritual healing and health.

This is not a rational experience. It’s not about learning data, as if further information would resolve the problem. This is soul struggle. It’s more about heart than head.

You can expect God to meet you in your vulnerability. The wrestling match will be found in the places of your pain, confusion, fears and disappointments.

The only way through this confrontation is surrender. We must yield. If God is wrestling with us, we will not win. We don’t want to win. We want God’s ways to become our ways. It’s the paradox of the spiritual life. In loss, we gain. In surrender we find peace and joy.