There is a difference between guilt and shame. Failing to recognize the distinction leads to confusion, or even despair. The distinction between guilt and shame is valid within our courts, relationships and souls. So, the matter is important in many aspects of living; family, friendships, church, and most of all, in our walk with God.

Guilt is a legal concept. It is a declaration of an offence against law, morality or persons. It is not ambiguous – either we did the crime or did not. We may offer excuses before a judge for speeding, try to explain our playground actions in the principal’s office, or complain in prayer that we had no other option, but there is no grey in guilt. The Bible declares that before God, we all are guilty. Each one of us has transgressed, and we have no means to erase it. Our only hope is the life and death of Jesus. Guilt cannot be removed, but it can be atoned, forgiven and forgotten. Through faith, anyone can have their guilt reversed forever. This is an act of grace for us.

Shame is not a legal concept. It is not a declaration, but a feeling. Shame is our emotional reaction when our guilt is known by others. We may sense judgement or condemnation from them, and we absorb their disappointment. Shame is the stigma of our failures. Shame is rooted in guilt, but it is not automatic. Some are guilty but do not sense scandal. They flaunt their crimes and have no sense of shame. Their ability to blush is broken. But that is not you. If I am not mistaken, many reading this do not dismiss their shame, in fact they wrestle with it.

We see our guilt and feel regret morphing into self-condemnation. We employ secrecy or facade smiles to avoid humiliation. Even when kindness is extended our way, we may impute attitudes of distance or rejection towards that kindness. It is a struggle for us to feel forgiven. But forgiveness is not the issue; shame is. It is possible to be forgiven and still sense disgrace. The only answer to disgrace is grace.

It is the grace of God which forgives us in Christ. It is also God’s grace to love us as we are. Guilty and broken with repeated failings and unfulfilled intentions. We convince ourselves that God is mad, or at least deeply disappointed with us. At best, we think God forgives but holds us at arm’s length. We may feel reproach where there is none. Jesus told a story which counters our misunderstanding.

Jesus told a parable of two sons. The younger son fled the family and spent his inheritance in wasteful, sinful ways. When the money was gone and he was as low as he could fall, he repented and determined to return to his father. He would confess his sins and live as a household slave instead of a son. As he approached home, his father ran to him. Picture it. Racing. Hugging. Weeping. Celebrating. He was not simply forgiven, but welcomed as the son he was. He was received without shame.

We all are prodigals. When we confess our faults and return to the Father, we find forgiveness but may fear shame. But our sins are buried at Calvary. Our shame is buried as well. We are both forgiven and received in love. The Father is running towards you. Receive His embrace.

“Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a cornerstone chosen and precious, and whoever believes in Him will not be put to shame.” 1 Peter 2:6, ESV