What drives us to isolation? Across my time in pastoral ministry, I have witnessed many believers struggle with the temptation to distance themselves from both God and people amidst times of trial. It is a curious response, isn’t it? When one is in their lowest moment to separate themself from support. It is an odd behaviour, but far from new. The human tendency to isolate can be seen since the beginning of creation. Adam and Eve “hid” from God in the Garden following their primordial wandering: “And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden” (Genesis 3:8, ESV).

What was it that caused them to hide? We see just a couple of verses later that they were afraid; afraid that God would see them in their nakedness. They were vulnerable and worried about what would happen when God “discovered” their sin. You see, it was not simply fear that caused them to hide, but a fear that grew out of shame.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines shame as such, “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour.” Shame is born out of the decisions we make and look back upon wishing we had made another choice. Maybe it was an unthoughtful word, a dishonest business deal, or the fall back into pornography after you had promised yourself that last time was the last time. Shame floods into our hearts and minds.

I clearly remember a young adult man I had a conversation with after not seeing him at church for at least a month. As we sat down for coffee I could see he was not looking forward to chatting, head down and avoiding eye contact. The flood gates broke as soon as I asked him how he was doing. Out came a deluge of confessions regarding the sin struggle that had reared its head in his life and how he had been overcome by shame. He was incredibly apologetic for not attending church, but said that his plan was to come back as soon as he “got better.” In his mind it was not appropriate to be present while he was struggling–church was a place for pure people who had their lives together. So, he would dwell alone, bettering himself, until the time came when he was “worthy” to return.

You see, the problem with the “return when I’m better” mindset is that what can sound incredibly humble is actually rooted in pride. It is a passive suggestion that there is some sort of work I can do, in and of myself, that will bring me back into right-standing with God. You might ask, “how can you be so certain this is an issue of pride?” The reality is that pride is fairly easy to root out. All you need to do is ask yourself if you are trying to do good outside of the work and will of God. If so, pride has taken hold.

It is only a humble spirit that combats pride, bringing us out of isolation and back into the light. One of the most beautiful aspects of Jesus’ ministry is that it was wholly restorative. Not only did He miraculously restore others to health, both physically and spiritually, but He took the outcast and restored them to community. Think of the woman with the blood disorder in Luke 8; her infirmity not only made her unwell, but unclean. She was cast out of her community and risked everything to push through the crowds to touch the hem of Christ’s garment. In a moment, simply through faith, she found healing and a new lease on life. Jesus didn’t reject her, He wasn’t offended by her illness or the potential sin present in her life, nor did He have a laundry list of expectations before she came. We are not called to perfection, but faithful presence and a dependence on Christ.

You see, Romans 5:8 relates one of the most incredible and encouraging truths of the gospel; Christ died for us “…while we were still sinners.” Jesus saw us, knew every sin we had committed and shame that filled our hearts, and those were the people He gave His life for. Your track record, whether good or bad, has no bearing on the efficacy of Christ’s atoning sacrifice. So, when Satan whispers in your ear “you’re not worthy,” you can rejoice knowing he is exactly right, because you have a Lord and Saviour who was and is worthy and who died and rose again to new life so that you might as well.

You have a new name: redeemed. Do not wait until you are ready, come now and join Him in the light.